Currently, the Jan ’18 edition

January 18th, 2018

Here we are, well settled into the new year (ha ha! *hides knife behind back*) and well on our way to breaking every resolution we made the mistake to make. So what better way to begin a ghastly routine than making a State of the Nation post.

At this fine evening I’m enjoying a well-earned moment of Peace & Quiet™ after a day of having the underaged male representative of the family being a right pisshead and shouting constantly the whole afternoon. Only thing I can hear now are the sounds the keyboard is making and the guinea pigs having their Nightly Hay Dance. Quite a racket, but I promise you, I’m not the least bit bothered about that.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my actual work but also my dream about making money from my craft. It’s a somewhat distant dream, but it’s something that I hope is going to provide me with some extra cash. I have also been thinking about what it looks like in haunted houses when it’s laundry day, but that’s something I’m thinking about more or less every idle moment. Still haven’t quite figured it out. Any ideas?

I’m sticking to not-eating sweets, but oh my fucking lord it’s hard, especially when you have half of your obscenely large tin of Quality Streets still in your Cupboard of Plenty, just sitting there quietly. When I’m done with the 100 days I’m aiming at first, I’ll bloody well eat every last bit of them. (watch me have maybe six and then feeling all bleugh)

I’ve been drinking so much water lately, that I feel like I’m sploshing around when I’m walking. I’m not, but I feel like I am. Also, unsurprisingly, I’m pissing like a racehorse al through the day. Tmi, I know, but you (two) know me well enough by now.

If someone had told me ten, even five years ago that I’ll be wearing leggings with dresses and cardies, I’d probably punch them in the face. But here we are, ten million cardies later…

These past few weeks (yes it’s been almost three) I’ve been listening to my old spotify playlists when I’m walking or going to the gym. For the longest time I only listened to the saved song list, scrolling up and down on it, trying to find a suitable string that would not frustrate me whilst exercising. And one day I just put on one of my playlists from 2012-ish, and let me tell u. East 17 is still fucking brilliant, and yes, no shame, I know Gold by heart.

I’ve been ordering a ton of jewelry-related stuff from Wish and whilst I know that they’re due to arrive sometime around mid-February, I’m kinda wanting them to be here tomorrow. The latest. I’ve also set up a rewards system for myself when it comes to losing weight, and I just put in an order for a big, chunky dot grid bujo notebook, and I’m wanting that to arrive today or sooner. Mind you, I’ve tried bullet journaling, but I didn’t quite like it, probably because I wasn’t committing to it like full-time, but sort of kept it as a side-ho to my beautiful ring-bound a5 Kikki.K. This time I’m … sort of not sure I’ll even start it right away, but I just wanted to have it, because a) it was a thing of beauty and b) ya know just in case.

I don’t like winter, I’ve probably mentioned it a few times. So yea. It’s two-feet+ of snow, more coming in in a rather horizontal way, it’s as cold as in polar bears arse and to top it off, it’s windy as fuck. So whuppi-fucking-doo, it’s a shit weather.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I’ve started on a new medication for my misfiring brain. It took me some time to actually believe that it was working. Or maybe it took my brain a month or so to recover from the question mark it formed into, as serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine actually fired when they were supposed to instead of going fucking ballistic every time basically anything happened. But yea, I’ve been feeling a lot better lately. Better, tho, is probably the blandest word to describe the multitude of improvements happening in my life. I feel more sort of … able. And not in a manic way. It’s not that gleamy-eyed, feverish drive to do things, but a nice sort of motivated and sort of orderly feeling of being able to. I have some fears, due to the earlier medical trials, about my writing, and since it’s been a good while since I’ve written anything more than a shopping list or a shitpost, I’m sort of anxious about it, but on the other hand this doesn’t feel like a blank space, but more as an internal processing period. So I’m kind of optimistic about that too. I should just try to allocate time for my writing, regularly, so I would get Shit™ Done™.

And lastly, to finish off with a positive tune, something I’m trying to do more in my life as a whole this year, I have booked an appointment for a facial for tomorrow, at a local beauty salon. I got a voucher as a christmas present and I’m more than delighted I was able to book a time in such short notice. The salon I’ve been to before had bookings for like closer to two months ahead. Mind you, it was very much not a problem for me, as I am flexible with my schedules, and the young lady worked as a solo entrepreneur with no one to share the space with. And she was lovely, and the treatments were more than excellent. So I’m sort of wondering if this new (to me) place can match the experience. What I’m positive about is is that I’ll enjoy it.

Have a nice rest of the week, all (one, who managed to read this whole thing) of you and do tell me what kind of positive experiences you have had with beauty salons. I’m determined to keep this place nice this year, so no wiping your snotty fingers on your trouser knee and for goodness sake, try to remember that the fork is used to transport food from the plate to your mouth, not the knife.



Song of The Week 1/18

January 7th, 2018

This week, the first week of 2018, I’ve been mostly listening to Major Lazer’s Be Together.

I can’t remember where or when I heard this the first time, but I know it wasn’t when it was released. I’m sort of a fan of Major Lazer, but I’ve only really listened to the singles that were played on Finnish radio stations, and they’re Watch Out For This and Jah No Partial. I guess it might be that I just stumbled on this while YouTube hopping and I saved it for later. And found it again a week ago.

I’m one of those (perhaps) annoying people that find a song, then listen to it seventymillion times in a row, forget them for a while and then put them into the sort of normal rotation. This song is no different. It’s been played this week probably thirty five times and it’s a lot, considering the time I have for listening what I want, instead of cartoons on the telly or some shitty radio station at work.

I love the rhythm, I love the melody and I love the singer’s voice. Particularly I love the “choir” at the beginning. And as strange as it seems coming from me, your friendly neighbourhood Larry Mullen jr. (i don’t think the lyrics are worth a shit to be honest i think it’s all about drums), I love the lyrics too. Plus the song gave me an instant fic-feel too. I mean even before I heard the lyrics.

So without any longer or deeper explanations, but just because it’s a bloody marvellous song, here’s this week’s Song of the Week, Be Together by Major Lazer.



This is the new shit

January 4th, 2018

I have purchased myself a set of new running gear. Look at it. LOOK AT IT.


It’s black and pink and I love it. I need to find matching shoes to it, because I’m in desperate need of new running shoes and it fucking pisses me off that my old ones, the ones that I used up last summer were a perfect match for this set.

Now, for this bloody winter to move over…



Year in review, 2017 edition

December 31st, 2017

A year ago I was adamant on taking 2017 by the throat and curb-stomping it, if it tried to fuck with me. It probably hasn’t, at least as much as 2016 did, but I still can’t say I’d be too sad to see this year die.

I’ve had a lot of good moments this year. I went to my darling London with my husband, met Adam who is an awesome guy, I’ve made a few friends over Instagram and cut some poisonous people out of my life. I’ve been mostly in love with Fassbend(me ov)er, but I still haven’t forgot to squee over Kinnaman (come on, the trailers for Altered Carbon are something else, man). Being in the Fassy fandom has brought me so many laughs because people are complete dorks and it’s brought me so many happy moments, because people have been incredibly kind to eachother. I’ve managed to land myself a job that I like and I’m capable of doing, despite my crippled mind. And I’ve started taking new medication for my illness, which has brought me some much needed mental stability, at least for now. I have been writing a lot, mostly working on one of my most ambitious fiction works to this day, but I’ve also exercised in smaller pieces, some lost ideas and I’ve tried new ways of writing. I’ve also laid ground work for my secret business dream and I have sort of high hopes for it for this year.

On the other hand, I set myself a bunch of goals, all well within my limitations, but I haven’t met single one of those. I can partly blame my unmedicated mind for it, but I can’t completely relieve myself from responsibility. I’ve been a terrible slag the whole year, when it comes to blogging, staying healthy and exercising. I mean I’m not in the worst of shapes, I did run 5k runs throughout most of the summer, but I could’ve done way better than that.

So this year, I’ll set pretty much the same goals, but instead of just diving in head first, I’ll do what has helped me before: plan it all out. What will be different this time is the fact that I’m (reasonably) sane at this moment, and I know in what I failed this past year. So it’s all a process of learning. I know how not to approach reaching my goals, but can try a different method. I need to set my sights on smaller steps and not try to manage the big picture in my everyday life, that shit didn’t fly. So instead of thinking what will be in three months time, or in six months, I’ll focus every morning to the next 24 hours ahead of me and only compare myself to the person I was the day before.

I have also picked a mantra for 2018. It’s a simple thing, but it’s effective:

Want it? Work fucking harder.



Update

November 17th, 2017

Hi hello.

I have been poorly lately, but I’m on the mend.
I have started at a new job, which I love and I’m on new medication for my bipolar.
I will be back for more on a later date.
Cheers,
me