March 6th, 2018

I don’t know if I’ve told about this before or not (probably not, because i’ve been busy and shit) but at the start of this year I decided to make some changes into my daily life. At first I thought about making a gradual change, but we all know I’m not about that shit. I need to change everything to succeed in any one thing.

So that’s what I did.

I started to watch more carefully what I eat (ok, let’s be real here, i started to actually give a shit about my eating) and I dropped (as per challenge) sweets, biscuits, cakes and the likes as well as any junk food totally off, for 100 days. It’s now day 65, and I had to check that from my calendar. It has mostly been quite effortless, even tho when the kid discovered my stash of Quality Streets from the Cupboard of Plenty and demanded one, I had a bit of a struggle with myself to not just snag one up. Because if there’s a type of sweet I love, it’s Quality Street. But I’ve had it quite easy to say no to other things on the Verboten List. Exepct yesterday my mother-in-law had a birthday and the cake looked and smelled absolutely delicious. But I said no and thanked myself later. Junk food has been of a zero effort to say no to, but that was expected as it hasn’t really been a thing to regularly get any. I’m missing biscuits something terrible tho, like if I could have just one hobnob, that would be grand. But alas.

But so far I’ve liked the fact that I actually seem to be shifting my view on snackage with tea. I don’t feel like I’ve needed anything to go with my cuppa for the vast majority of times. I mean, when I’m at home, I’ve no need to take a biccie or anything with my cuppa, but I’ve sort of felt obligated to do so when visiting people. Not anymore. I feel like I can say no thank you today and take a bite the next time around. Idk, I like feeling like this.

Included in my habit changes was to up the amount of excercise I get. For the final five months of 2017 the most exercise I got was basically when I walked to and fro from my locker at work. Now I’m doing a variety of things to keep me moving. I’ve changed from one gym to another and found myself in the arms of LesMills again. And I love it. My current gym offers both live instructed and virtual combats and that gives me so much freedom to choose when I go in. And the range of virtual exercises they have is staggering. So it’s no wonder I’m finding myself there five times a week. (ok i’ve tried zumba after three? five? years of absence and it seemed like a good idea at first, but now, after just five weeks i find myself cringing at the music 87% of the time and i honestly don’t think it’s worth the suffering. i get my groove on with much harder music and it has come to this: i’m more of a sweat-til-you-drown -type of mover, who’da thunk)

I’ve also started to keep a record of daily weather on my calendar and I’ve sort of gotten a more structured view on my daily life in there as well. I’ve set up a cleaning list so I can stop being overwhelmed by cleaning the whole fucking house at once, like before. I’ve chopped the tasks in bits and spread them (moderately) evenly around a week. I can’t believe I haven’t thought about this before. I’m keeping track of my eating and also my finances quite meticulously, and as a result I’ve paid my credit card off, am close to paying off my last bit of student loan and have lost roughly 30 pounds since January 1st.

So how’s that for a fucking change.

Song of The Week 2/18

March 3rd, 2018

This past month I’ve been mainly obsessing over Altered Carbon. While this song has absolutely nothing to do with it, it has historically to do with Joel Kinnaman, the man who plays Takeshi Kovacs and Elias Ryker in that series. It was quite soon after this song was released that I heard it first, as a part of a playlist that had something to do with making out and sex and all that jazz. Coincidentally I was up to my eyebrows in Kinnaman-fandom at that time and naturally connected every hot song with him.

And just last week I happened to scroll about my Starred playlist on Spotify for some “old” tunes to find some variation, when this popped up. Conveniently when I’m so deep into Kinnaman (again) that I can barely remember my name.

So suffer with me, both the song and the man.

disgusting, innit

This week’s song is IAMX – Your Joy Is My Low

gif credit to uuuhshiny @ tumblr

Still writing

February 27th, 2018

I have been able to squeeze in some fic writing, amongst everything else going on. This one sort of started out a long time ago, but I’ve been pushing it aside for more relevant texts for this long. It still lives in my Lost Ideas folder, but time will tell if it moves to root. It promises to be something darker than my usual cups of tea (really? idk) because it deals with properly damaged people and I’m not getting into any of that here, it’s still only in a state of concept, but there’s something on the proverbial paper.

He opened the cupboard over the sink and grabbed a black mug that had a bit missing on the rim, setting it on the table and tossing in a bag of Tetley’s he took out of a tin that had a double decker bus on the lid. Whatever had possessed Michelle to buy one of those touristy boxes with shitty tea in it, was beyond him and when he’d asked her, she’d just laughed so hard he thought she’d burst and told him to suck it up. He sighed, stroking the lid on the box for a while and then pushed it back to its place. He still missed her something terrible, especially in the mornings. It all seemed so quiet without her banging her pots and pans just to piss him off and sometimes managing to put a decent breakfast on the table in the process. –Stop being a sentimental old biddy, he snorted to himself and opened the fridge door only to find that there was no milk. –Fucking fuck.


February 13th, 2018

Hi, hey, hello.
I’m just wooshing by here to tell you that I’m sort of otherwise engaged with blowing up every nook and cranny of my house to get some godforsaken order into this chaos I find myself living in. And no, haven’t moved or anything, but it’s been a long-ass time since I’ve had any interest in keeping my house in order and actually you know like bothering with anything?

So I’m taking the opportunity and going with the cleaning/decluttering I feel like doing, since -knowing my cleaning habits (haha what habits -you, shut it -me)- it might not last very long.

I have a lot of ideas for actually doing some … interioring and home-decoring and all that shite, so yea…

Also I may have a bit of a crush on Hermione Chantal. She’s my idol.


February 1st, 2018

I used to do yoga, for about three years around 2010s. It was always in a school gym where the floors were freezing. I still loved it, it was once a week for 90 minutes. You started with a ten minute orientation and ended with ten minutes of relaxation, which, I must admit, led to me falling asleep a few times. But that was sort of the point, really. I even did a full weekend with the weirdest yoga instructor ever. It was some hardcore shit too, let me tell you, we’d stare at a candle flame for fifteen minutes, then blow out the candle and stare at the imaginary candle flame for another fifteen. I mean…

But it sort of lost its appeal to me, I couldn’t focus on it anymore and kept being distracted by my thoughts (perhaps it was a manic episode, who knows, those times are a bit blurry to me, for a variety of reasons) and so I quit. I tried a few poses at home, but it didn’t feel right and in the end I abandoned all yoga.

Until today. I’ve signed up for a new gym in town and they have a lot of classes, from Les Mills Combat (yAy!!) to yogalates (i’m sort of intrigued by this) to just plain yoga. Which I went to this evening. Sixty minutes of intense shit and I can tell you with the utmost gravity that tonight’s yoga was everything my body has been missing. I’m almost in tears because it feels so right, my body feels so refreshed and agile.

So yea. Yoga, good for me. 10/10 would recommend to me.