Archive for the ‘Writing’ Category

Chasing Cars

Saturday, October 15th, 2016

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes
They’re all I can see

I don’t know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never
Change for us at all

So many feels about my Aotearoa sequel. And the best bit? It’s really not what you’d expect.

Wat is this?

Monday, October 3rd, 2016

For the longest time ever I haven’t felt like writing. Like at all. I struggled to write a one-page introduction of myself and usually it takes me about three seconds to tell at considerable length how bloody good I am. And now it took me two hours to get it done. Ugh.

But the past couple of days… I started to read my old scribblings (not too old, mind you, not those embarrassingly raw snippets i’ve written when i was like fifteen, because like, no, keep them, but for fuck’s sake never read them, never ever) and I felt like I could actually write more. Like, write a sequel to Aotearoa (Karina & Tem 4eva!!! i’ve been thinking about them a lot in these few days) and/or maybe write something for either Road or for Other Side (Rainne & Daryl are my eternal otp!!1).

I don’t know what brought this on, but I have a sneaking suspicion.

Shrinks halved my dosage of anti-psychotics and it might be that it’s not enough to contain my mania after all even tho the original dosage was quite small to begin with. But I don’t care. I want to stop taking the bloody pills alltogether. I hate taking them and they make me so bloody drowsy in the mornings.

I feel alive for the first time in like… I don’t even know. Happy times.


Saturday, August 13th, 2016

I’m trying to write a one-shot, but I’m getting fuck all done.

I’ve been going at it for three days and I’ve gotten down a page. Of shitty, clumsy text that doesn’t flow. It’s not like I’m not used to writing sexy times, it’s just that it doesn’t seem to come together (probably no pun intented). I’m not even seeing it like I usually do when writing really anything. I see a scene like a film and then I just write it. Now it’s just like then he did this and then she did that. Where the fuck has my mojo gone?

I know I should just write it as badly as it comes out and edit later, but if I already know that by editing I would mean re-writing the whole shit, then what’s the point.

i don’t get the point

maybe tea will help

Spoiler alert: it won’t.

But I might still try.

Old characters, new tricks

Sunday, April 24th, 2016

Lately I’ve found myself thinking of Karina and Tem.

I thought I’d finished their story, but somehow there are a couple of plot bunnys hopping about somewhere just out of reach. I mean I’m not against bringing them back, no way, Karina is one of my favourite OFCs, so I would have zero problems writing more about her.

I have time to think about writing, because I’m starting to really get into running. I find when running, I’m completely on my own and I can ponder on my characters and stories in a very different way than sitting on my computer. Running is sort of automatic function I don’t have to think about doing (thank fuck i’ve been running before so i’ve got the technique sorted) and therefore my mind is freed to process stories 100%.

We’ll see what happens. The plot bunnys seem to be pretty and fat, so there might be a part 2 in the making.

Old ideas

Tuesday, March 15th, 2016

Back in the day when I started writing I didn’t have a computer. I used to write by hand in this big red notebook. It was a working combination if I was writing an idea that wasn’t too formed, because then I had the patience to concentrate on the handwriting. But if it was an idea that I had mulled over for a good time, I could sometimes barely read what I had just wrote. It still happens to me, you should see my writer’s notebook on some pages, it’s like trying to decipher hieroglyphs when you’re not an archeologist, an egyptologist or indeed either of Dr. Joneses.

Things took a turn for the better, somewhat, when I (or rather my sister, the more avid of a writer of us) got an electric typewriter. She had already confiscated dad’s old manual typewriter earlier and basically sat on it so I couldn’t get to it (you could read what had been written from the tape if you were curious enough, yes children, it was a different time, you and your touchscreens and tablets, we had MACHINES to type with). When she got the electronic one, she still wouldn’t let me have the old one, but I would sometimes get to type on the new, posh one. So I wrote some stories with it (you could still read the tape if you wanted to, but it would take a lot more effort and you would most likely break the cartridge and replacement tapes weren’t exactly cheap) but I still continued to mainly write by hand.

And then, the computer arrived.

We had some old shit that dad had gotten from work, but it had a word processing program and a hard disk drive. I typed with that bastard like there was no tomorrow. I stored my scribblings on the disks and kept them in a safe place, so no one could read what I’d written. When I finally got my own computer years later, I transferred all the files from the disks to the computer hd.

Except for apparently one story.

I remember writing it, I remember it was one of the most solid ones, plot-wise, and it had a lot of potential. I made up characters that were easily approachable and not mary-sues or anything shitty. It was probably the first one of my more mature stories.

And I can’t find it anywhere.

I’ve destroyed all the disks because a) I thought I had everything transferred and b) who the hell even has disk drives anymore? Not I. I’ve dug up old backups of my hds but no. It’s nowhere. It can’t be found. I’ve thought about it a lot lately and I have been trying to remember what happened. Because I’m going to try to revive the story, revive Sandrine and Ed, try to tell their story again, maybe make it better. And maybe when I’m done, the original story will pop up somewhere, like when you need a thing and you buy a new thing because you can’t find the old thing and the old one appears right after you come home with the new one.

Here’s hoping.