Archive for the ‘Pro tip’ Category

Never say never

Saturday, September 5th, 2015

When doctors (even shrinks count as doctors, mind you) tell you to basically stop being a little bitch and take your medicine, you should listen.

As all (three) of you might remember, I started to take some medication for my illness back in February (or something) and then quit about two months later. I quit because I felt like it was dragging me down and all that. Turns out it didn’t drag me down, but instead kept me perfectly functional and feeling surprisingly well. You might have noticed me not writing anything here after May.

After a lot of soul searching, conversations with spousal unit (bless ‘im) and a few things broken because of my rages of biblical proportions, I gave up trying to live au naturel with my condition. It’s just not working. I’m dragging myself down and taking damn near everyone important in my life with me.

So here I am, a few days on anti-psychotics and already feeling like returning to normal broadcasting.

It feels good to be back. Fingers crossed I’ll be more responsible this time.

Rewards

Tuesday, March 10th, 2015

I have been through a massive weight loss project before. I shed almost 30 kilos off of me about five years ago. Then my head decided to be a bitch and I lost interest in everything else except food and eating and I gained everything back. But now I’m determined to lose it again.

What I learned from the whole business of losing weight is you need to reward yourself along the way. Set goals and award yourself with prizes when reaching a goal. Make the goals close enough to eachother, so you won’t end up losing faith in the progress, even if you have a minor setback, like a week when the scale says you haven’t lost a pound. I wrote down a list of things I wanted, small things really, so I was able to afford them. Like games for my 3DS or new nailpolish. I added to the list some bigger prices for when reaching a milestone, like -15 kilos or -20.

For me it was a system that did the trick. I wanted to get an appointment with the hairdresser, sure, just lose five more kilos and you’re there. I wanted to buy a game, sure, just one more kilo and you’ve got it. I also made the list flexible; if I wanted something more than the next prize on the list, I’d just switch places of things.

So this time I’m armed with a list of things and I’ve already achieved one prize. I’m looking at next one waiting for me in two or three weeks.

You might want to try and make a rewards list too, if you’re in need of losing some weight but can’t seem to be bothered. It might be the kick you need.

Pro Tips

Wednesday, December 18th, 2013

“No, but was she wearing two skirts of what?” I scream in frustrated anger and slam my fist down on the table, making the tea mug jump a little.

I know it’s sometimes a shitty thing to proof read your own things, because you really can go blind to mistakes. It happens to me all the time. I’ve read the text ten times and then I come back to it two weeks later and notice that there’s hiar instead of hair or something like that. I don’t mind typos, really. Typos are ok, shit happens and all that. What is really really frustrating are the following things:

1. Number one buzz killer of all time, in erotic fanfiction (that’s mostly what i read and let’s face it, so do most of you, fanfics = fap material) is the tense change. I hate hate hate when “you’re lying on the bed and he took off his pants and starts to kiss you“. It REALLY HONESTLY isn’t that hard to keep your tenses straight, is it? Stop fapping and writing at the same time.

2. Continuity mistakes. “He ripped off her panties and grabbed her in his arms, carrying her to the kitchen counter, kissing her passionately. She felt his rock hard erection against her and when he sat her down on the cold marble, she gasped. He let go of her, staring at her hungrily and traced his finger on the elastic of her panties.” What? Did she have on two pairs of knickers or did he put them in his pocket so he can later fondle them?

3. This is more funny than annoying. The accidental homosexuality, also known as the accidental threesome. “She put her hand around his cock and looked up to see him looking at her with lust in his eyes. He took him all the way in, feeling him in the back of her throat.


He took him? He?


4. Completely out of character things. I’m willing to forgive some things, but not everything. If you’re writing an existing character, who is rubbish at shooting, DON’T make him or her shoot someone smack middle in the forehead, with a pistol, from a distance. Just don’t. I’m all for taking the shyest mousiest character a having him or her suddenly being a right animal in the sack, because that might actually happen, given the right circumstances, but there is a limit to people’s abilities. If you need an excellent marksman for your story, either write about someone else or alter the storyline.

And this concludes today’s rant about writing.

How to not organize a party

Thursday, November 3rd, 2011

(please read the title in a billy connolly voice. it sounds better. actually, everything sounds better with billy connolly voice. so from now on, read everything with billy connolly voice.)

You decide to throw a party, let’s say a surprise party for a friend. This is always a good idea, since everything is grey and dull during autumn time, so basically any kind of a party is a welcome change. I’ll take even a bloody Party Lite party over boredom, but that’s irrelevant really. I don’t know about you people, but I have a pretty good idea how to start about with all the preparations. And since I’ve recently experienced a completely assward way of organizing a party, I shall reveal how things should not be done.

-Invite people and tell them to rsvp within a week.

-Do not wait for the rsvp’s, instead book a place (without knowing the turnout, as it’s not the rsvp date yet), tell people you’ve invited that this is the place and it wasn’t actually even expensive.

-Ask people about food. Who wants to bring what and you-know-the-deal. Bear in mind that you still have no idea about the turnout, as it is still not even close to the rsvp deadline.

-When food is sorted, THEN tell people to pay up, because it is only fair that everyone pays for the rented venue. Nevermind that some people have agreed to bring food. Because the rent will be split equally amongst the participants. Never fucking mind that you still don’t know the turnout, because the rsvp deadline is still a few days away.

-When the rsvp deadline date arrives, have people be pissed at you.

Uhm. A big fucking NO! You know, I’ve no problem with sharing the costs, but in my world (which, by making a brief poll amongst my peeps (as they say) is mostly everybody’s world) if costs will be split, the whole thing will be organized in an entirely different way. Like so:

-Invite friends, ask for an rsvp. Tell people this is supposed to be a party where costs are split evenly.
-Wait until the deadline date.
-Ask participants how much they are willing to contribute. Some people are to bring food, others will pay for the venue. At this point, find out what sort of budget you have for the venue.
-Find a venue that is suitable for the amount of people participating but also affordable within the budget.
-Throw party.

People, it’s not that difficult. Mind you, I’m an enginerd and my brain has the tendency to look like this

most days, and even I can muster this much sense. And today is not one of my brightest days, I gotta tell you.

And I fucking hate parties anyway.