Archive for the ‘Project Fittest Bitch’ Category

New mantra

Sunday, October 25th, 2015

I am in the ever-lasting process of trying to get into a better shape and lately I’ve been lacking motivation. I was supposed to lose a lot more weight this month and I was supposed to get a ton more exercise done. ‘There’s still a week left’, you say ‘of October, so you’re not entirely fucked’.

Not entirely, no, but I feel bad about myself, because I haven’t met my goals. This will mean, quite possibly, not meeting my bigger, long term goals and then I’m gonna hate myself even more.

But I read an article written by one of my heroes, Wil Wheaton. He’s only a couple of years older than I am and also suffers from somewhat crippling mental illness. The article deals with a lot of things I’ve lately fought with and you all should go read it. It got me motivated and from now on, I will work towards my goals and tell myself this:

I deserve to be happy. I deserve to feel good about myself. I can do the work that I need to do to accomplish these things.

I will succeed.

Rewards

Tuesday, March 10th, 2015

I have been through a massive weight loss project before. I shed almost 30 kilos off of me about five years ago. Then my head decided to be a bitch and I lost interest in everything else except food and eating and I gained everything back. But now I’m determined to lose it again.

What I learned from the whole business of losing weight is you need to reward yourself along the way. Set goals and award yourself with prizes when reaching a goal. Make the goals close enough to eachother, so you won’t end up losing faith in the progress, even if you have a minor setback, like a week when the scale says you haven’t lost a pound. I wrote down a list of things I wanted, small things really, so I was able to afford them. Like games for my 3DS or new nailpolish. I added to the list some bigger prices for when reaching a milestone, like -15 kilos or -20.

For me it was a system that did the trick. I wanted to get an appointment with the hairdresser, sure, just lose five more kilos and you’re there. I wanted to buy a game, sure, just one more kilo and you’ve got it. I also made the list flexible; if I wanted something more than the next prize on the list, I’d just switch places of things.

So this time I’m armed with a list of things and I’ve already achieved one prize. I’m looking at next one waiting for me in two or three weeks.

You might want to try and make a rewards list too, if you’re in need of losing some weight but can’t seem to be bothered. It might be the kick you need.

Starting over

Tuesday, February 10th, 2015

I had every intention to get into a fighting fit last year. It was a project that started January third and was supposed to gradually make me the fittest fucking bitch this side of I don’t know, Ural or something.

But then B happened and later on pre-eclampsia happened and everything went to shit and as a result I’m in a terrible shape and at a weight never seen before. In a bad way.

So this is sort of a new beginning for that project. I am on medication that should help me fight the crippling depression that prevents me from going out to even pick up the post. It should also prevent me from going overboard and literally trying to kill myself with too much exercise. Thank fuck for looney pills that do not give you any terrible side effects.

I felt really good today, going for a walk with B in the pram. Must be due to the weather that has mellowed, since my asthma has been a real bitch this winter and prevented me from breathing properly when it’s more than -3 outside. My body seems to be starting to remember how to do the process of walking. I’m laying sort of low this week, to get my body more used to regular exercise and starting nordic walking (quit laughing it’s really effective) next week.

I’m one of those people that actually gets high on exercise. I remember feeling bloody marvellous after sweating fifty minutes in body step or body combat class. Or coming home from an eight kilometer intervall run/walk. I miss feeling like that. I miss it so terribly, but I need to understand that my body isn’t in that shape at the moment, and trying to achieve what I used to be able to achieve will only result in me feeling like shit and probably a heart attack.

I will start slowly, but you can bet your ass you can fucking hear me roar by the end of this year.

Week three

Monday, January 20th, 2014

Yes, week three of the diet and I was so so so ready to give up on this. But then motivational!Tom got angry and I got scared. (and kinda horny too, because isn’t that beard hot, think about it scratching your inner thigh i mean what)

Don’t worry Tom, I’m not giving up. I daren’t. D:

(thanks for the original edit to something-gingerhamtard on tumblr, i’m only using this image to motivate myself, your edit is super <3 )

Today

Wednesday, January 8th, 2014

Today is the third day of my super-strickt diet and I’ve never ever evarrr craved bread so badly. Seriously. I actually sniffed my husband’s bread and nearly weeped.

But I will be strong. It will be easier after like two more days, I suppose.

Also today I got my septum pierced and MY FUCKING GOD it hurt like nothing else. Jesus fucking christ why does a human being do such things to self? My nose is kinda sore-ish at the moment, but it’s nothing that I couldn’t handle. It’s just that at times it stings, because hello, it’s a wound and -there’s no getting around it- snot is salty and that’s not a nice combination. Ow. Ow ow ow.

But I think I’m liking it. Yes. The piercing, not the stings, mind you.