Archive for July, 2012

Coffee is NOT the one

Friday, July 27th, 2012

Christ on a fucking bike. Why did I have to drink coffee?

There is a reason I turned away from coffee as my main source of caffeine (which, admittedly, i’m well addicted to) and switched to obscene amounts of thick tea (it’s thick, because it’s strong, not because any added ingredients). It’s because I get such a rush from coffee, that I feel my heart will jump out of my chest and my hands tremble and in general I go all weird and hyper.

It’s like sugar and me. Sugar doesn’t have any proven medical effects on people’s activity, but in my mental activity it has such an effect that I go simply batshit crazy. So you wanna bet your asses that I am a bloody wreck now that I’ve drunk coffee last night (with copious amounts of sugary treats, thank you) AND this morning.

Coffee and sugar. So many shades of not fucking right for me.

Oh gawd

Thursday, July 26th, 2012

How come I suddenly crave for a sarnie, hm?

HAHAHAHA. Oh god I must be ill in the brain.

(but really. i would. i so would. )

So what now?

Wednesday, July 25th, 2012

I just finished a story I’ve been writing on and off for about, I dunno, twelve or maybe fifteen years? It started out as a bunch of short files I wrote, describing different parts of the life of the characters. I originally planned to write them together while I had time and sort of combine them. So earlier this year I started reading the parts and since they are well old, I felt they weren’t good enough. They were sort of teenybopperish and lacked any dimension whatsoever. So I basically just thought I’d give them a bit of a rewrite and maybe start combining the parts finally. I ended up writing the whole thing all over again, because I felt like I could do better with all the parts than the original versions.

And now I’m sitting here sipping my cup of lemon tea thinking how the hell did this happen. The story came to an end. It’s not that it wouldn’t be a good ending, it was how it was supposed to end. I didn’t know what was gonna happen until maybe two days ago, when the characters ended up where they were and things went like they did. I like the ending, how can you not, if it ends in pouring rain with the words “Welcome home, my love.”, but it’s just… I dunno.

I grew so fond of my leading lady and the leading man, who started out as a statistic, pretty much. Damn, what now? I have all these inspirational songs (oh thank you synesthesia for colouring the songs for me) in my head and I think I need to start up with a new story. I’m just reluctant to let go of the shy little girl, who grew up to be a feisty woman.

Is this how it feels when kids grow up and leave home?