Archive for November, 2012

So my fiction

Thursday, November 29th, 2012

OMG Rainne & Daryl!11 My forever OTP!!1

And you know what?

Basket case reporting for duty

Tuesday, November 27th, 2012

I had an appointment with the shrink today, to which I went and because I’m feeling sort of normal today and I’ve felt like that for a week or so now, when asked why I rang them up the first place I told them I have no fucking idea. Then I said this is only true for this moment, but when I initially gave ’em a bell I knew bloody well why I was doing that. I was a fucking mess then. And I have no doubt I will feel a fucking mess repeatedly in waves of this is awesome -shit and this is some no right -shit, da capo al finé. Unless I do something about it. Or rather they help me to help myself with this.

So the shrink told me that I might wanna try some medication. To which I instinctively replied hell to the no, but then I got thinking that maybe it wouldn’t hurt to try. Honestly, I’m all over the place when I’m manic and to tell you the truth I piss even myself off at times then. And when I’m depressed hubby feels miserable, because he just wants me to feel good. Which is sad, because I really really really don’t want him to suffer because of me. Which I guess means I will take the damn drugs if they decide to perscribe them to me. Who knows, it might do the trick.

And to be quite fucking frank, I don’t think I can manage being like this.

Why am I like this and why am I not okay?

Fuck. 🙁

So this just happened

Monday, November 12th, 2012

Two weeks ago I got a little hot-headed at work because of reasons and I felt really crappy so I took a week off, based on nonorganic insomnia. Which in doctor terms is “headcase” put in nice terms. Seriously, things got so fucked up at work that I just couldn’t cope with it anymore. It’s just… I love my work, I’m good at it and also fuck you, I know shit, so it’s not that. It’s also nothing to do with the guys I work with (exception being this mid-level manager who’s a right dick and who used to do me head in, but not anymore because i told him to shove it. i did. honestly. ), because the guys are so much fun and nice and fun and cute and cuddly it’s not even real life, to be honest.

It’s the management. They do everything in their power to make us workers feel like shit and it’s not even funny anymore. I’m not getting any deeper into that shit, cuz of reasons, again. Let’s just leave it at that. At this point.

So what gives? Here I am, once again suffering from early symptoms of burn out and whaddyaknow, it’s November. This is beginning to look like this other film that I saw two years ago. Even the doctors have the same lines.

So I decided to give a ring to the local mental health department and I now have an appointment with an actual shrink and I may or may not be given the verdict of bi-polar. We shall see.