Archive for January, 2013

Tuesday, January 29th, 2013

The power has been all wonky today and as a result my work day was … interesting. Everyone was getting mental whenever the lights went out. We just stood there, me sipping from my Trusted Tea Cup and guys just basically loitering with their hearing protection thingywotsits up on their head like ears. And laughing. Everyone was having the best stories ever. I love my guys at work. I cannot fathom how I will ever manage when my contract ends. ;__;

In other news, from the CrazyLand: I fear the looneypills may have some side effects. Like problems with sleeping. I mean I sleep well, but I sleep like three hours, wake up, stay awake for two-three hours and then sleep another short stint. I’m not sure yet if I want to blame the pills for side effects or should I rather blame them for not working at all. They should be slowing down the rollercoaster ride going on in my head but so far no signs of it. Yea sure, early days, but seriously nothing is happening. I’m beginning to get a bit anxious waiting for the miracle that sets my head straight. It’s really frustrating to be like this. My head is a mess all the time and I get fuck all done because of my head being a mess. I feel shit I shouldn’t be feeling and I feel terrible about feeling the shit I shouldn’t be feeling but also on the other hand I couldn’t give two shits about what anyone would think about me feeling just about anything.

Like, head, could you just not? This is really frustrating and scary.


Saturday, January 26th, 2013

I’m bored. So here, have a meme.

1: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette? Yes I could.
2: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused? Taken. Also confused, but not in a relationship way. 😀
3: What if I told you that you were pretty? I’d say thank you, have you been to your optometrist lately.
4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”? Yes. And it was actually the other one, not me.
5: Are you interested in anyone right now? Yes. My husband. And Reedus, lol.
6: What are you looking forward to in the next week? Payday.
7: Do you want to be single? No.
8: Did you go out or stay in last night? I stayed in and went to bed incredibly early.
9: How late did you stay up last night? Not late at all. I was in bed like at ten thirty.
10: Can you recall the last time you realized you liked someone a lot? Yes I can. It was actually earlier today.
11: Last three things you had to drink? Water, coffee and tea.
12: Have you pretended to like someone? Yes, unfortunately. It’s not fair, to be honest.
13: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it? Yes. That’s not fair either.
14: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months? Many a times.
15: Is it hard for you to get over someone? Usually it is.
16: Think back five months ago, were you single? No.
17: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon? Talking shit with a dude and waiting for my lasagna to be ready.
18: Hold hands with anyone this week? Actually earlier today, as it happens.
19: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? No, fairly sure I couldn’t. I like beer too much.
20: What would you name your future daughter? I dunno. Amy maybe.
21: Do you miss anyone? Sort of, yes.
22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night? Come to think of it… probably not. Unless I was too drunk to remember it.
23: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed? No. I was sitting right here on the chair when it happened.
24: Are you good at hiding your feelings? Not really, no.
25: Have you ever cried from being so mad? Yes, many a times.
26: Who did you last see in person? My husband.
27: Are you listening to music right now? No, oddly enough.
28: What is something you currently want right now? Money. And tea.
29: What is the last thing you said out loud? Bye, to my husband who went out.
30: How is your heart lately? It’s in good shape.
31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie? Sometimes.
32: Are you wearing socks? Woolly ones actually. The flooors here are freezing.
33: What do people call you? Weird, mostly. Also Rika.
34: Will you talk to the person you like tonight? Yes.
35: Are there any stressful situations in your life? Apart from work, no, not really no.
36: Who did you last share a bed with? My husband. Wouldn’t it be odd if it was someone else.
37: Did you do something bad today? I drove over the speed limit. Quite a bit over it.
38: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you? Just now.
39: Do you get stressed out easily? Unfortunately yes I do.
40: Will you sing today? Not anymore, I did earlier.
41: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t? Yes.
42: Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone? To my wifey, Jutta. She’s my rock. Love her all eternity.
43: Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? Nope.
44: What are you listening to right now? QI on the telly.
45: What is wrong with you right now? My eyes are all wonky and my head is a mess.
46: What is on your wrists right now? Eight bracelets. I’m waiting to get my watch from Time.
47: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing? I’m in my nighties. I got it from the inlaws.
48: What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider? Hot chocolate, no cider for me thanks.
49: Do you make wishes at 11:11? No.
50: Are you a good artist? I have this unique style in art, it’s called bloody awful.
51: Love really is a beautiful thing huh? I wouldn’t say so.
52: Do you miss the way things were six months ago? No, not really.
53: Ever been on a golf cart? No! I want to be tho. They look like a lot of fun.
54: Do you have trust issues? Yes.
55: Ever stayed up all night on the phone, with who? With a friend of mine who was in a bad way.
56: Do you own something from Hot Topic? Nope.
57: Do you use chap stick? All the time.
58: Have you ever slapped someone in the face? Yes, this was in school. She was a right cow so I slapped her.
59: Do you have a little sister? No, but a big one I do.
60: Have you ever been to New York? No but I want to.
61: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? He better well have meant that.
62: Have you hugged someone within the last week? Yes. Actually three persons.
63: What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping.
64: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? Yes. Who hasn’t, really.
65: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? Yes.
66: Were your last three kisses from the same person? Yes.
67: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days? Yes.
68: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? With someone. I have terrible fears at night if I’m alone.
69: Will next Friday be a good one? Hopefully.

Mental, pt. 346675

Sunday, January 20th, 2013

So my shrink gave me some looneypills. We’ll just have to see if they work. I’m sick and tired of this head.


Sunday, January 6th, 2013

I spent a good while just now organizing my fiction folder (this being the folder where I keep the fiction I’m writing, not other people’s fiction I’ve saved). Lots of files ended up in Lost Ideas, some in Smut (“oh really smut, you?” -nobody ever) and three were left on the root because I’m writing bits in them somewhat constantly.

I did this, because a while back one of my internet heroes Wil Wheaton posted (or possibly reblogged) an article about writers and the vast amount of ideas they usually toss around in their heads, some ending permanently as mere ideas and some ending up as actual stories that end up being actual books. There was something about how every writer should have a folder named Lost Ideas or similar, just to have a place to put all the quick-fire ideas in. Just in case those happen to pop up later on in one’s head. I think Stephen King has the same system and he has written some of his greatest books basically from ideas that once popped into his head, appeared to lead nowhere and suddenly came back years later to be a best seller.

I’m in no way comparing myself to really anyone and indeed I’m quite certain I will never even want to have any of my scribblings published in any forum (not even online on my own blog or similar), because I write solely to amuse myself. But the idea of having tons of ideas in a nice folder may actually help me to finish more than the ONE BLOODY fic I’ve ever finished. And to tell you the truth, while I like the ending and the storyline, it is a bit … well, short. There are things I believe the characters could’ve done and those things could’ve given more … beef to the story. I completely re-wrote the whole shit (I’ve been through this in here before, of you care to remember) from snippets that were basically the Lost Ideas of that story.

So what it comes down to is that the Big Thing I’m working on at the moment (and have been this whole autumn and pissing y’all off by constantly posting about it) might work out better if I just write it like I wrote that previous Big One; not as a continuing story, but rather a bunch of glimpses in the storyline whenever I get a vision of it (yes I get a vision, mostly listening to songs and dreaming and stuff like that, I don’t know what else to call them really, even tho they’re just images and sometimes moving pictures with sounds and smells). I mean I know what has happened and what will happen, eventually, but I can’t write it in one long story, apparently. At least not from the beginning.

Proof? I’m on page 25 and I just started re-writing the beginning just there.

So I guess Lost Ideas of This Fic is my new friend.