Archive for November, 2013


Thursday, November 28th, 2013


fucking Ackles


Saturday, November 23rd, 2013

Sometimes it hits me like a fucking freight train that I am honestly quite lonely. Now that I’m not working, there might be days when I don’t have any other human contacts besides my husband. There actually might be several days in a row when I physically talk with no one else but my husband. And at times that’s just talking to, not talking with. Don’t get me wrong here, he’s just never been much of a talker anyway, so it’s not like it’s changed or anything. It just is what it is.

I don’t know, most of the times I don’t mind it, but other times it just kills me, the lack of people in my life.

I used to go places, with people. Now I don’t go anywhere and nobody comes to see me. I’ve become socially awkward and I suspect people don’t want to invite me into anything because I’m… well, awkward.

I have my internet people, who are there occasionally. And then I have my fictional characters, who are beginning to seem more like real friends than the one or two real life friends I have.

I have my computer and my fiction. That’s it, that’s my life.

Ordinary Love

Friday, November 22nd, 2013

You guys. U2’s new single, Ordinary Love.

I heard it for the first time last night and at 0:29 mark I was already bawling my eyes out. It’s so U2. It’s like coming home from a long trip. It’s … it’s just moving.

This band has been in my life for 30 odd years. Been with me through ups and downs and it has literally saved my life. Literally. I would’ve quite certainly offed myself had it not been U2 and Bono. His voice still sounds like hope to me. Like the light at the end of a long tunnel. Like the hope that everything will turn out for the best. I feel such overwhelming joy upon hearing him sing it’s just … I don’t know, it’s something I’ve been trying to put in words for a long time, having yet to succeed. I can only imagine it to be similar to a religious experience.

I can only hope the new album (whenever the fuck it will be released) will be on the lines of this single. Because if it is, I’m positive it will be my second favourite album. There’s no beating Achtung Baby, mostly because that album is what was my resurrection from the teenage angst and the hardships I was facing (we’ve probably been through this). I went through the fucking meat grinder, psychologically, and Achtung Baby means the world to me, because I made it through all that, listening to Ultra Violet and Acrobat. And Love is Blindness, a song that still hurts me on such a deep level.

Here’s an edit of Bono I made earlier today, because of reasons.

Suck on this

Sunday, November 10th, 2013

Johnnie my man sent me a box of candy for our birthday (and i sent him a bunch also) and at this point I’m left with this huge lollipop.
And I mean huge.

Like guys how do you eat this?

Oh no wait hang on…

Oh jesus fuck it’s not working this is hARD



Friday, November 8th, 2013

Hello mania my old friend, haven’t seen you around for quite a while. Please, make yourself at home.