Archive for November, 2014

Shit on Sundays – v. idek anymore

Sunday, November 30th, 2014

1) Sexuality? Petrolsexual.
2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Ahahaha.

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. I don’t have a book at hand’s reach and I can’t get up because I’m trying to get the kiddo to sleep.
4) What do you think about most? Oh wow. I’m permanently in a state of confusion. But black holes. They baffle the mind.
5) What does your latest text message from someone else say? “jup”. It’s from my husband.
6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on? I’m a practical girl. If it’s cold, in jammies. If it’s hot, nekkid.
7) What’s your strangest talent? I can wiggle my ears without touching them.
8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence) Girls are pretty and boys are too.
9) Ever had a poem or song written about you? Not that anyone has confessed to.
10) When is the last time you played the air guitar? Like last week maybe?
11) Do you have any strange phobias? I fear mushrooms. That’s not very common, is it?
12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? We’ve all done that, let’s face it.
13) What’s your religion? I’m an awesomist.
14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Walking. Since driving a car isn’t really outside. Is motorcycling?
15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? I’d like to say behind, but I do like the other way too.
16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? U2.
17) What was the last lie you told? I’m a pathological liar. One that mattered was probably the one that I told my team of shrinks. I told them I’m worried about myself when I’m like this. Truth is, I’m not.
18) Do you believe in karma? Yes.
19) What does your URL mean? There are moons inside the rings of Saturn that keep the rings in their place and they’re called shepherd moons. So that.
20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? Greatest weakness is that I care about what people think of me. Greatest strength tho. I’m really good with words.
21) Who is your celebrity crush? This week? Kinnaman.

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping? Yes.
23) How do you vent your anger? I curse a lot. Loudly. I throw things. And sometimes I hit the wall to hurt myself.
24) Do you have a collection of anything? G1 My Little Ponies and skulls of my enemies. aHAHAHaha. ha.
25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Phone.
26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become? Most of the times.
27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? Sound that I hate is alarm going off in the morning. Sound I love is the engine of my Firebird and my motorbike.
28) What’s your biggest “what if”? Oh man. What if I’d said yes instead of no that one evening in August 1997.
29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Ghosts no, aliens yes.
30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. Right: turtle tank. Left: the sofa.
31) Smell the air. What do you smell? My septum ring smelling like rotten corpses.
32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to? Hospital.
33) Choose East Coast or West Coast? East.
34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

35) To you, what is the meaning of life? idk, to eat?
36) Define Art. Stuff some people like to make and others to look at.
37) Do you believe in luck? Yea.
38) What’s the weather like right now? I don’t know it’s dark. It’s always dark, until late January.
39) What time is it? 8.14 am.
40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? Yes I drive and no I haven’t, at least until this day.
41) What was the last book you read? Dead Tomorrow by Peter James.
42) Do you like the smell of gasoline? Yes.
43) Do you have any nicknames? A few. Marikki and Rika are the most used ones.
44) What was the last movie you saw? Snabba Cash.
45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? I’ve broken my leg, it was the biggest. The worst pain-wise was when I got my face punched in.
46) Have you ever caught a butterfly? Yes I have. I catch them just to look at them a little closer and then I let them go.
47) Do you have any obsessions right now? Yes.

48) What’s your sexual orientation? Joel Kinnaman’s voice. Or Jensen Ackles with a thigh holster. Not gonna lie.
49) Ever had a rumor spread about you? Tons.
50) Do you believe in magic? Not really, no.
51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? I think revenge is a dish best served cold, so yes.
52) What is your astrological sign? Libra.
53) Do you save money or spend it? Spend it.
54) What’s the last thing you purchased? I bought a wacom table.
55) Love or lust? Both.
56) In a relationship? Yes.
57) How many relationships have you had? A couple of long ones and then a bunch of short ones.
58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Nope.
59) Where were you yesterday? At home and in my car.
60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? Yes my socks.
61) Are you wearing socks right now? No, they’re on the table beside me (wat?)
62) What’s your favorite animal? I like giraffes a lot.
63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? Food. And my quick wits.

64) Where is your best friend? In Romania at the moment.
65) Spit or swallow?(; Aren’t you cheeky. I’ve been known to do both.
66) What is your heritage? Swedish-German.
67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM? Playing candy crush on my phone.
68) What do you think is Satan’s last name? I think Johnson.
69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? Oh please. We all have.
70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? …yeees.
71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? It’s only a job.
72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? a) I’d probably only tell a few b) I’d shag everyone I’d always wanted to c) I’d be fucking mortified
73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love. Well then, trust.
74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? U2 – One Tree Hill or Simple Minds – See the Lights.
75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? seven, a nice position and a 1.
76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? Great sex.
77) How can I win your heart? Buy me food.
78) Can insanity bring on more creativity? I’m a living proof of it.
79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? Getting my motorbike licence.
80) What size shoes do you wear? 41.
81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone? “I tried.”
82) What is your favorite word? Fuck.
83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. Veins.
84) What is a saying you say a lot? “Wait, what?”
85) What’s the last song you listened to? Power of Love by Gabrielle Aplin
86) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors? Black.
87) What is your current desktop picture? Kinnaman. Quelle surprise.
88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? Just one? Oh dear. Kim whatshisface of N-Korea.
89) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? How do I feel about my life really.
90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? Probably cry and curl up in a ball.
91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? Stopping time.
92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? The moment when I heard Achtung Baby the first time.
93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? My previous engagement and everything about that relationship.
94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? London.
96) Do you have any relatives in jail? No.
97) Have you ever thrown up in the car? No.
98) Ever been on a plane? Yes.
99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? Stop killing people, you twats.

This is why we can’t have nice things

Saturday, November 29th, 2014

“There was a rattle behind her and with a quick inhale she snorted up the whole load. With a wide smile on her face she turned, sure to see her sister somehow miraculously risen from the grave. But it was Alex. In his grey hoodie and his dark blue jeans and black jacket and she’d never seen him looking so worried and oh how she loved him, loved every inch of his scrawny, meth-ridden body and his narrow face and the patch of hair on his chin and then it hit her like a freight train and she could taste the bitter foam in her mouth and all she heard was a high-pitched buzz and a terrified scream of Sinjin no and then everything went white, like static on television.”

HB, bitch

Tuesday, November 25th, 2014

Happy birthday, you tårtsmula you.

usch vad du är äcklig puss puss

War flashbacks, pt. 10

Monday, November 24th, 2014

Today a friend of mine posted an NKOTB song on her facebook wall and I remembered a thing from like I don’t know, maybe ’91?

We were at school, this was like on the seventh, maybe eight grade. It was arts & crafts and my class shared the lesson with another class. There was this girl from the other class, whom I didn’t like too much (let’s not say i hated her, but it wasn’t too far from actual hate. i hated a lot of people in my teens. A LOT.), mostly because she was one of the popular girls and also from another side of the river and let me tell you that lot thought a good bunch too much of themselves and their families’ social statuses. Anyways, we had the opportunity to listen to music while crafting and usually there was New Kids on The Block or some shit playing, but not this time. I was given the player and I had a 90-min tape (if you played them about six times they stretched so much that you could hear the music on it playing in a slight slo-mo and it was, depending on the music, either painful or hilarious, that’s why you’d opt usually for a 60-min tape) with Bryan Adams’ Waking up the Neighbours on it. And since it was a 90-min tape, you had the whole album and then some taped on it. So I had the album and some other from Bryan Adams on it and because it wasn’t the video version of Everything I Do all the way through the tape, that particular popular girl started whining about it.

So someone asked her what should we listen to, then, if Bryan Adams wasn’t to her liking. And she said New Kids on The Block. And someone asked her, because she was a huge fan and went to a gig too and had plastered her bedroom walls with Jordan Knight and Joe Whatshisface posters (no Danny tho, nobody liked Danny) if she’d ever think of giving up on New Kids on The Block.

She said no, “it’s in my blood”.

And I mumbled “how ’bout a fucking trasnfusion then” and no one heard me and goddamnit was I a fucking delight and I still feel so warm and good about myself for that.

Concerning Christmas

Sunday, November 23rd, 2014

When I was a kid I used to love christmas. Like I think about every kid ever does. I mean what’s not to like? (i have a lovely gif that says exactly that but i will put it at the end of this post, otherwise i’ll get distracted and you will too because it is a thing of beauty) There’s presents, there’s lounging about in your jim-jams for days, a ton of good food and also no school for what feels like eons. Childhood christmases, my favourites.

Then adulthood happened and mom and dad got divorced and everything turned sour and shitty. I spent my christmases with mom, since there was no one in her life while dad had remarried. I started to dislike the whole idea of christmas. And then I got into a relationship and things got even more messier, because now I had to juggle between his parents and my mom and what-not.

I hated christmas. It became a big fucking bother and all I felt was miserable and I really really wanted to call off everything and just bury my head in the ever-piling snow. Never more than last christmas, at around which time I have no problem admitting I was trying to drink all of my discomfort away. I was actually sitting at the table at the in-laws and they took away the wine from me because I was drinking too much. To their taste. Not to mine. I would’ve been happy just to pass out. You might remember the nice old-fashioned ghost-story from last christmas, in which me and my dad were haunting our house and not sleeping. Yea, I was on a mental high, but at the same time I was feeling fucking miserable about all the hassle.

This year I feel different. I think it’s mostly due the fact that around my birthday this year, my mom, who is notoriously socially awkward and bears grudges something unbelievable and my dad, who is a happy-go-lucky as ever, made up. Like thirteen-ish years after their divorce. They sat around the same table, even alone by themselves and had a civilized conversation and no smackdown happened. It’s like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. I know I’m a thirty-six-year-old hag and I shouldn’t give two fucks about another adult’s businesses, but I do. I do give two fucks. And I’ve been feeling awful, but not anymore.

And I feel all christmas-y now. So I’m going to decorate the house early and bake a shitload of christmas goodies and can we get an amen when two weeks before the d-day I break down and burn everything because I’ll get fed up and end up haunting the house all by myself, drunk as a skunk while the hubby and the kid sleep.

So fuck you, christmas. I love you and I feel you but you bet your mistletoe-y ass I’ll end up hating you this year too.

Oh and here’s that gif that was promised.

lovely, innit