Archive for February, 2015

Song of The Week – Heartland

Saturday, February 28th, 2015

I can’t remember for the life of me when I bought my copy of Rattle and Hum. It was after Achtung Baby, because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to buy what I thought was essentially a live album. Mind you, I wasn’t a die hard fan until PoP was released.

Eventually I did buy it and listened to it and the one song that instantly gained power play from me was Heartland. It’s a song that paints a picture infront of you immediately. It’s like looking through a car window and seeing monumental landscapes pass by. I remember that’s how the song was written and it truly delivers that vibe.

Now, I’ve never been much of a lyrics listener, but with this song they are an integral part of the landscape. Ghostranch hills (where i got my second domain name), Death Valley waters, towers of steel. There’s a landscape that is gruesome, yet beautiful and then you have the delta sun, burning bright and violent.

There have been people who have asked me if I’m in music video business, because I have such strong visions of songs. I’m not. But I should be. Or I should be selecting music for films. Heartland would be the theme song in a Mad Max -type apocalyptic film, where the hero is looking for his fate, traveling through battle-torn country.

But it’s not only the picture the song paints, it’s the feeling of overwhelming loss and hope that springs even when everything seems hopeless. When the song opens, it’s harsh, sad, hopeless, and then, when “dawn changes everything, everything” there is hope, there is the beam of sunlight after devastating storm, the light after a night of terror.

There is dawn that changes everything.

And that’s why Heartland by U2 is song of the week.

Teenage agony

Friday, February 27th, 2015

When I went to seventh grade, I really wasn’t at all into boys in the beginning. I was thirteen and sort of just getting into the whole awkward mess of hitting puberty and suddenly realising that playing with Barbies was omg so stupid and hitting on boys was cooler than just hitting boys. I made friends with some girls, who were more mature than me and by the beginning of the spring, I kinda liked this one boy who was two years older than me.

You know, it’s one thing to like a boy for the first time when you’re decent looking and at least somewhat fashionable, but when you’re fat and dress strangely, it’s a completely different thing. Want to take a wild guess which one I was? Yup, I dressed in clothes that my mom made (no dis, i loved wearing them, they were unique and also i’ve never understood why you’d wanna buy labels just because labels, anyway i digress, my lack of style is a whole another story) and I was overweight. And not in that cutesy movie type of overweight, but plain fat, trust me.

So what followed was the usual heart eyes, motherfucker -routine, lots of giggling and making up codenames so no one would know who we’d be talking about. Then one day, I was coming from my record store (no i didn’t own it but it’s where i hung out a lot) and the cute boy was outside and he looked at me and I sort of panicked and went “hi”. He stared at me for a long while and went “what” and I went “well i just said hi” and my god I was red like a ripe bell pepper and I legged it.

If this were a Hollywood film, he’d come up to me the next day and said he had loved me for a long time, but since this is my life and my teens were as horrible and as scarring as your regular person, that didn’t happen. What happened was that some of the girls from other class (the snobby ones which i’ve mentioned before) had boyfriended up with this cute boy’s friends and decided to make me feel like shit. One of the girls came up to me and asked all innocently if I liked that boy and I blushed and said nope. So she started going on how I didn’t have a chance because I wasn’t fit and cool and you know the drill.

What I didn’t realise until much, much later was the fact that the boy had been an absolute wet toaster about the whole thing. He actually told all of his mates about my awkward moment instead of not being a dick. And all those mates decided it was a cool thing to tell everyone about it. Which resulted in me having a really uncomfortable end of term.

And yes, I’m still mad about it and I wish I’d realised what a complete douchebag he was.

Kids can be so cruel to eachother.

ManCrush Monday – Pt.4

Monday, February 23rd, 2015


Song of the Week – Wind of Change

Saturday, February 21st, 2015

Born in late seventies, I wasn’t too old when the Berlin Wall went down. Aged 12 I was however old enough to feel the significance of it and old enough to realise that it really was an end to an era. Before that, everything in the world had seemed simple: the enemy always came from the East, the Soviet Union.

When Wind of Change begun it’s rotation on MTV, the channel that was then the actual voice of youth, I was 13, starting to feel my careless childhood turning into an age of permanent confusion: teens. At the same time the world around me changed, sort of mirroring my own transformation. While the world at first seemed full of hope, when the Iron Curtain broke, it soon turned into shit with the war in Yugoslavia. And in my life there was an age of innocence and hope that turned to shit with some events that I’m not getting into publically, ever. During these events, Wind of Change was playing everywhere, connecting me to the events in the world.

I haven’t gotten bored of the song, even after all these years. I don’t play it often, if ever, but sometimes it comes on the radio and I’m not ashamed to admit, I still get a bit misty eyed when the whistled intro comes on. This song is just such important part of my early teenage years and one of the reasons I got to be so interested in what happens in the world.

That’s why Wind of Change by Scorpions is this weeks song.

Theme songs

Thursday, February 19th, 2015

You know sometimes some songs remind you of a person, or a place or a particular time of your life. I have a few of those. I can’t listen to Keane’s Everything Changes without remembering me, my sister and my RingPal Juk driving in her teeny-tiny red Renault to local landfill a day before our house had to be empty. (mom sold the house after the divorce with dad, so we weren’t evicted or anything)

There’s Ihmeiden Kaupunki (the city of wonders, roughly translated) by Finnish band Leevi & The Leavings which reminds me of being a kid and playing with my sister and our summer cabin. A song about more innocent times. Just like Scorpions’s Wind of Change, which really needs a post of it’s own (remind me if i don’t get to it).

Talking about Scorpions, there’s Rock You Like a Hurricane, which used to remind me about a certain time my brother-ish and his cousin did a striptease number while that song was playing, but now it mostly reminds me of one of my husband’s friends who is a die-hard Scorpions fan and trust me you don’t want to mix those two images. So that’s a sort of a frustrating song in the reminding of -sense.

Certain songs I try to avoid because they aren’t necessarily triggering, but I’ve played them a lot while manic. Such as Jörn’s version of The Sun Goes Down, which really quite honestly describes not only addiction, which it originally is about as far as I understand, but also being bipolar. It’s a magnificent song, even the Thin Lizzy original, but I like Jörn’s version better.

And then there are the songs I listen to when writing. I usually make a playlist in Spotify with songs that give me inspiration so I can play that whilst writing and be in the correct mood. (i usually write with my earphones on because occasionally (lol all the time) i’m playing the same few songs over and over and over again and my husband gets irritated, bless him) Like Jess Mills’s Live for What I’d Die for will always remind me of Karina and Tem’s love story. Roxette’s Sweet Hello, Sad Goodbye has Rainne and Daryl written all over it. Takida’s You Learn is Zorana and Sean all the way.

There are the sadder stories. Gabrielle Aplin’s wonderful version of Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s Power of Love plays when Eleanor drops to her knees on her twin sister’s grave, in so much pain that she is determined to join her. Dennis Shephard’s Bring Me Back plays when Rainne sees Daryl being shot in the head. Depeche Mode’s marvellous Higher Love has always been to me a song that I imagine being high on drugs feels like (bear with me, blame the synesthesia), so naturally that is what I play when I write about Eleanor and Alex getting high.

And there are songs that mean so much to me in a personal level, that I don’t want to associate them with anything or anyone for that matter. The original of the afore mentioned Power of Love. I once had a guy asking me if I’d dance with him when that song started playing at a bar and I said no, that it’s nothing personal but this means so much to me that I just want to sit here, listen to the song as it’s blaring out of the loudspeakers and have a fag. He said wow and then he said can I join you in that and I said yea and that was it. And there’s U2’s Love is Blindness, Zooropa and Heartland…

I need to start a Song of the Week, because I could go on and on. I can and I will.